Daily aftershocks persist,
its hard to feel safe at any moment.
Two nights ago,
as we finally drifted toward sleep
an aftershock shook us back up.
I was too tired and confused to make a move,
I just lied there waiting for it to end.
It seems pretty unlikely we would be able to escape in a serious earthquake anyway.
Maybe if we had a 30 minute warning.
Wouldn't that be nice.
three of us were having a nice dinner
trying to enjoy life as usual
hoping to forget the ongoing disaster.
We kept the TV off,
since it's usually on all day,
recycling the little information from Tepco and the government
that feed our fear and insecurity while occasionally warning us of an aftershock or radiation levels.
Suddenly the world shakes,
the house felt like jello
the hundreds of things that usually stand lifeless in the room
rattled and jiggled with excitement.
We hurried under the table
crouched, on the second floor of an old flimsy house
that shakes noticeably even when a bus passes by.
I have little faith it would withstand a serious earthquake.
As I finish chewing my food under the table
I think of how unpleasant it would be to be stuck under the table
if the house crashed down.
Or if it really makes a difference.
I'd rather be crushed whole than part way.
Maybe thats an irresponsible thing to say.
Its hard to think clearly these days.
Nothing seems stable.
At this point,
I can't tell if the house is really shaking,
or if I'm imagining it.
It never feels solid.
I dream of earthquakes.
I need to breath more.
A different kind of story.
I had a dentist appointment yesterday.
Its weird to go about daily life at a time like this,
but modern life has no time to wait for uncertainty.
Work, shopping, school, transportation go on,
with a fresh flavor of anxiety and inconvenience.
Maybe a nice change from the endlessly mundane routine many suffer from.
As I walk toward the dentist's office,
I imagine an aftershock hitting us while I have drills in my mouth.
It sort of humors me,
and I smile thinking "that would definitely suck." :)
As I walk in to the office they tell me,
we have 20 minutes before the planned blackout.
In perhaps the most dramatic medical operation of my life,
the dentist hurries to treat a cavity repeating,
"it will be bad if we run out of power before I finish."
Thats really what I want to hear,
as I lie there in a very vulnerable position.
I console myself with the thought of a bonus aftershock hitting us.
Doctor asks the assistant,
"how much time before the blackout"
She seemed to speed up her drilling.
"how much time now?"
"only 3 minutes? it will be really bad if we don't finish. oh man...."
Thanks, that really helps.
I hate going to the dentist.
But, this time it was quite entertaining.
It felt like a tense medical drama episode.
I'm glad I went.
Better than feeling uncomfortable at home,
failing to respond to the aftershocks in time,
watching non-stop news about what is happening and what could happen.
They finished right at the deadline, 3:20!
The power never went out.
Turns out they had the wrong day.